If my marketing career doesn’t pan out, I’m covered. Sort of.

I’m on my way to a successful marketing career. But just incase that path doesn’t work out, I came up with a few alternative options.

Redundancy Professional: I used “alternative options” in my opening. That’s like saying alternative alternatives. I could provide lawyers and higher-ed writers redundant copy…though they both seem pretty competent at being redundant on their own by themselves.

Ketchup Packet Tester: An article on MSNBC announced the new portable Heinz ketchup packet. I would have liked to be involved in the testing of said packet through the consumption of fried potatoes in a moving motorized vehicle. In other words, I want to get paid to each fries. <Credit to Cindy Angel for finding this article>

Laugh Therapist: Got problems? Share them with me and I’ll make you laugh to feel better. On second thought, I don’t really care about other people’s problems so I’ll just stick to writing this blog.

Rodeo Clown: This is where you entertain the crowd at a rodeo, right? Because I’d be really good at that. No danger, just being silly. I guess I would have to invest in clown school.

Ice Cream Tester: Hey, Baskin Robbins–looking for a tester for new ice cream flavors? I’m your girl! I’ll sit and eat ice cream for 8 hours per day, 40 hours per week. No problem. Call me.

Member of Charmin’s Go Team: AKA “bathroom enthusiast.” The members of Charmin’s Go Team get to “greet and entertain guests at the Charmin restrooms and around the city [New York], while also blogging, Facebooking and tweeting about their experiences and the nuances of ‘going.'” I would have applied if I knew about the opportunity. I’m pretty sure I would be perfect for the position. Charmin, if you’re looking for members of the Go Team in the midwest, call me. <Credit to Therese Kuster for mentioning this campaign to me and Cindy Angel for finding the article>

Human Hotel Bed Warmer: Apparently fancy hotels hire people to warm beds before guests arrive. Getting paid to sleep? Yes please! <thanks Cindy for the tip>

While these career options sound great, I think I’ll stick to marketing.

Do you have job alternatives like me? Post ’em below!


3 thoughts on “If my marketing career doesn’t pan out, I’m covered. Sort of.

  1. the real Mike Rowe....seriously says:

    Dear Megan,
    As of recent, ratings for my hit tv show Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel have been in a slump. I am currently making wicked amounts of cash money doing Ford commercials so I would like you to take over as host on Dirty Jobs. I think a hawt brunette will boost ratings. You will be doing jobs such as… Manure Spreader, Chimney Sweeper, Butcher, Medical Experimentee, and Nursing Home Housekeeper. Let me know your decision.
    Sincerely, Mike Rowe…for realz

    • Mr. Rowe,
      Thank you for your comment. I noticed you sold out doing Ford commercials. Kudos for finding something that must pay super amounts of money that doesn’t involve ickyness.

      As for the job offer, I need more details. Locations, time commitments, pay, etc. And I’m fine with doing all those dirty jobs except one–nursing home housekeeper. A) They’re called Environmental Services and B) who the hell would do that job. That’s disgusting.

      That is all.

      P.S. Please send me your autograph. I want to exploit you for money.

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