Things I Learned During My 2-Week Break


I just had two weeks off from work. Not like normal vacation where you have to keep an eye on work email (and in my case, keep an eye on social networks for clients). But a true vacation. No work email to check, no responsibilities. Yes, it was two weeks off, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t learning.

I learned that vacation rocks! It was wonderful not to have to be anywhere or do anything. I had a list of things I wanted to do or get done, but I could do them on my time. I could wake up at 8 a.m. (ha, no) or sleep until noon (more likely).

I re-learned that I do love being outside. I’ve gotten in the bad habit of staying inside the last few years…very hermit-esque With work during the day and feeling lazy on the weekends, I spent most of my time under unnatural light. But on my break, I spent a chunk of every day outside, and I hope to continue getting more outside time.

I learned that pedicures are just not worth it. They hurt (and tickle). Yes, my toesies look spectacular (exhibit a), but this one will probably be both the first and last one I ever get.

exhibit a

exhibit a

I learned that yoga pants rock. I used to be skeptical about the comfyness of yoga pants…I didn’t understand why other girls liked wearing them. I get it now. I really get it. I try not to wear them out of the house unless I actually am working out, and I will NEVER wear them with Uggs, but they really are fantastic.

I learned that swimming is really, really hard…and it’s great exercise. But, seriously, it’s hard. And exhausting. But I’ll probably keep doing it.

I learned that women at the Y are totally OK with their bodies. While I went in the changing rooms, others did not feel the need to.

I learned that I don’t have a 3 iron in my current set of golf clubs. And also that I can still golf even though it’s been 6 years since I’ve golfed consistently.

I learned that the par 3 course in town does not have a dress code. I know this because I wore my shorty shorts, and a gentleman played a round with no shirt.

I learned that I have shoes for every occasion, and that I wore pretty much all of them during these two weeks.

shoes

OMG shoes. A small selection of my vacation footwear.

I learned I can still rollerblade. But it’s reeeaaallly hard on the leg muscles.

I learned I eat a lot when I’m at home during the day. Like seriously, a lot.

During my time off, I took a break from social media, as in NO social media for the first week, limited social media for the second week. I learned that it’s harder to avoid posting on social media than it is to avoid looking at my newsfeed for what others are posting. That sounds super narcissistic, but I guess it’s now ingrained to want to share what you’re doing. If you have a chance to take a break from social media, I highly recommend it.

I did learn that the only reason I’ll break my social media hiatus is to respond to a message from my brother in Afghanistan. (Miss you, James.)

Now I’m headed into the next chapter of my career, of my life. And I couldn’t be more excited. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m excited to get back to work. My 2-week vacation was wonderful, yes, but I do much better when I’m busy. I’m ready to put my mind toward something, and to grow and learn every day.

Wish me luck!

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Pauly and Me


Paul Bunyan Akeley Minnesota

The Pauly I’m referring to is Mr. Paul Bunyan. I call him that because we’re tight. We’re close. We’re besties. I used to stop by to see him once per year back in my younger days. I had to apologize today, as I hadn’t visited for a while.

Pretty much every year my family and I go on vacation to a resort near Park Rapids, MN. When I was younger, we’d do all sorts of activities—one of the most memorable being taking a visit to Paul Bunyan.

The statue in Akeley, MN—which I’m going to pretend is life-size—was a staple of each journey north. It faded as a tradition, but as we happened to drive by on this trip, I got overly excited. So my patient father pulled over and let me get my picture with Pauly.

As you can see, he’s pretty big. He’s also so content, even though he’s been kneeling there for lord knows how long. I’m not sure when or if Babe the Blue Ox ever visits Paul, but I’ve never seen him there.

Vacations in Park Rapids always bring me back to my childhood and often reveal the giddy childish excitement that still evidently remains.

The Obligatory “How Are You?”


I work in an office. And I love it. I get to sit at a desk all day, but I also get to walk back and forth around the office. I’ve learned a lot in my almost year of full-time work. But my favorite life lesson by far is the culture of the obligatory office greeting.

Each morning, you get to walk into the office. And the first time you see each person, you have the following conversation:

Person 1: “Hi, how are you?”

Person 2: “Good. How are you?”

Person 1: “Good.”

Person 2: “That’s good.”*
*This last comment is optional. I approximate that it occurs in 30% of obligatory office greetings.

I have this conversation with 15-20 people per day…it feels like…it’s probably more like 5 people. And I don’t mind it—because it’s habit at this point. It’s just an observation.

I’ve always wanted to set aside one day to actually answer the “How are you?” question truthfully. It would surprise people if I came back with, “Kind of bloated, thanks.” Or, “I developed this weird rash.”

Although I’ve always want to do it, I never will. I will continue to respond with the required, “Good. How are you.” And I’ll enjoy it.

I Visited the ’80s


I only witnessed 6 months of the ’80s (sorry to make you feed old), so I don’t really know what they were like. But I got the closest I’m ever going to come at the 2012 AAF-Cedar Valley ADDY awards.

The ADDYs are a local, then district, then national competition for advertising creative. I was on the committee for it, so I was involved in judging, coordinating and planning the event. It was a lot of work, but it ended up super rad.

The theme for the awards ceremony was ’80s. Who doesn’t love an ’80s party, right?

I wasn’t going to dress up, but then I thought, ah hell, why not. So I did. I had to buy a cheap top and some leggings (nope, I didn’t own leggings before this), but the rest of my outfit was my own.

What was my outfit, you ask? Only this:

Megan's Meanderings '80s

Pretty bitchin’ right? I know. I don’t even know what the ’80s were, but I think I pulled them off pretty well.

I don’t think I’ll be traveling back in time any time soon, but it was fun for one night.

I Want to Go to There: A Self-Reflective Review of Tina Fey’s Bossypants


Megan Horn BossypantsThis weekend, I took the time to read a book I’ve been dying to read—Bossypants
by Tina Fey.

Tina Fey is on my “People I Want to Meet (Alive)” list. I haven’t officially written that list down, but when (if) I do, she’ll be on it. I wish I could have seen her Second City work, I love everything she did on SNL and I thoroughly enjoy the quirkiness of 30 Rock.

Enough of me ranting and raving about Tina Fey, and onto me ranting and raving about her book.

Before reading it I’d heard mixed review. “It’s not as funny as I expected,” and, “It’s amazing; in my head, I read it in her voice.” But Iwent in with an unbiased mind.

I tried to read the book slowly to catch all her subtle jokes, but honestly, I was so enthralled in the book that I flew through it. I’d like to think I caught most of the jokes, but there were probably some so subtle that they flew right over my head with lightning speed.

Throughout the book, Fey tells stories of her awkward childhood, her days in Second City and, of course, her life at NBC. It gave me a whole new insight into this person I’d been watching on TV for half of my life.

Bossypants gives you a picture of off-the-screen Fey. It portrays a hard-working, humble writer just trying to make people laugh. Reading this book gave me a new appreciation for Fey and her writing. I always knew she was a helluva comedy writer, but throughout the book I caught myself thinking, “Damn, I wish I could write like this.”

If you’ve seen much of Fey’s work, the book reveals the personal influences behind it. Liz’s “foot thing” on 30 Rock, the entire Mean Girls script, the Weekend Update jokes and her hesitancy to play Sarah Palin despite the resemblance.

One reason I think I’m so enthralled with this woman is that I see a little resemblance to myself…or at least I’d like to think so. I’m a writer, I love making people laugh, and sometimes when I put on my reading glasses, maybe I even look like her a little bit. When I was younger, I wanted to be on SNL. I wanted to make people laugh for a living. I took a slightly different route, but my love for making people laugh remains.

It probably goes without saying at this point that I truly enjoyed the book. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a quick, laugh-out-loud read.

And Tina, if you’re reading this, it’s all true. Call me.

My Super Sleep Study


I had to do a sleep study yesterday, and, well, it wasn’t what I was expecting.

I thought it was going to be awesome–sleeping all day? Sounds like my kind of study. False.

Apparently in the sleep study I had to do, it’s about how long it takes you to fall asleep. So instead of taking nice, long, relaxing naps, I got to fall asleep then they’d wake me up. Five times over a 7-hour period. Five times! That should be cruel and unusual punishment.

In addition to the whole “getting woke up when all I want to do is sleep” thing, the day was lonely. It was seven hours in a room…by myself. I had a nurse who came in and told me when it was time to nap (and, of course, wake up), but that was it. No other human contact. I did have phone and email, but it just wasn’t enough.

To measures all my brain activity (which I’m sure was off the charts), I had to wear electrodes. I had like 12 of them around my head–by my eyes, on my chin, behind my ears and all up in my hair. They made it hard to move, hard to get comfy and really hard to eat the delicious hospital lunch.

Electrodes

All the awesome electrodes attached to me. You can't even see the ones on my head.

Cords

Many, many cords that were attached to me all day.

So for those of you wanting to participate in a sleep study, make sure you’re doing one of the long, overnight studies…not one of the “we’re going to wake you up every time you fall asleep” studies. Trust me.

I’m pretty sure I was more tired after the study than I was before it. Oh, and I still have goop in my hair from the electrodes. Sweet.

Things You Learn in a Racquetball Court


racquetballI’ve started working out again. I know, I’m pretty much one month on, one month off. It happens.

This time when I went, the basketball court was taken up by stupid little kids, so I played racquetball by myself instead. I had some major realizations while I was in that enclosed space:

  • Racquetball courts are what I imagine solitary confinement to be…except bigger and less sweaty.
  • If you play the short way (against the side walls), it’s really hard.
  • Who decided to spell racquetball with a “c”? Why can’t it be “racketball” or even “raquetball”?
  • When you play alone, you can hit the ball as hard as you want without worrying about hitting your friend and giving her a bruise (sorry, Tracy).
  • You shouldn’t try to do wall jumps, even if you’re by yourself.
  • I feel rebellious when the door recommends that I wear protective eye gear but I don’t.
  • You should play on the courts without windows if you want to keep your dignity.
  • My backhand needs some work.
My racquetball session was a great time for reflection. Next time, I’ll take paper and a pen so you can enjoy all the unnecessarily unnecessary thoughts like these.